5/31/08
**actually wanted to post on thurs de..but hor..too tired ar...so lazy to post...hahah..on thurs went to unit to train their footdrill..than i train the Sec 1..hahha...they are GOOD..they are really good..they are fast learner..and they have the heart and passion in ncdcc.in just 2 days, their drill improve alot alot...by right, they cannot march, cannot even sedi-a properly..now they can marching step..I even teach them sizing,open order,close order, hormat on the march,omg...hahaha...well I once again regain my hope in my unit...first was my sec 2, now add on is my sec 1...EVG you are going strong and you will always be strong..^_^...
but i was quite sad la...cos due to smart 4...my hand got 2 colour now...thank ar..smart 4..hahaha...but never i going kayaking again but this time as coach...so i wearing sleeveless than i will become one colour again...hahaha...lol...then Friday went to sch again...hai..but nvm,, it is the last day of sch..well although don have the last day of sch feeling..hahaha..time fly..so fast it is already 8 weeks liao..8 more week goin to change cls le....kinda sad when think of that..i really like this cls...it fun,hardworking and kinda bond together..no one dislike anyone...it just so peace and fun..i like it...but anyway Friday was quite a slack day..due to no one in cls catch the ball from the faci..he was just throwing without knowing that all of us catch nothing..he happy throwing only...hahaha...than finally last UT of the week...one week of 3 UT will really kill people lo...wth...more stress than in secondary sch...exam also not so stress..don know why..the 30min can kill so many brain cell...so powerful..hahaha...but out of the 3 UT.1 I will die, 1 I cannot make it..1 i ok ok...hai...what the...year 2 is so STRESS...well this week always have the feeling of there are thing i haven finish ..but i cant rmb what is it...Angel said I too stress le wor..maybe ba..hahaha..i also don know....than today went to GYM...hahaha...with jw and ruyi...actually today is Sat ar..but when i post pass 12am liao...hahaha...actually is going partyworld de..but Ricky and Alex fall sick..well what to do..hahha...faster get well brother...than go gym do some running and some weight training....hahaha...i am growing strong..hahaha...after that went swimming with jw...well it a good way to distress ba...in the water...no need to think of anything...suddenly i have a feeling of relive ... i feel the weight on my shoulder is gone...i can finally rest..hahaha...than after that when coming out of the pool..we start a pulling and pushing game..i was kena push and pull in the pool don know how many times la...hahhaa..than went to sona be4 going to bath..but still i don know what is the effect of sona..hahaha...they said will relive stress wor..hahaha..mayb ba...hate to see my best friend sad...when i cant do anything...hai...question to all:"What if the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who make you cry?"a question that everyone should ponder about...trying to search for a answer too...but well I am still not in need of it..hahaha..and i hope i wont need it forever...^_^..going slp le..very tired..hahaha..see you in my dream**
..Can I be the Guardian.Angel.Tiamo..
and I miss you already
11:10 PM
5/28/08
**
Argh..I am tired.tired of winning and losing..tired of leading and following.N tired of going out...tired of staying at home....exceptGaining of Love,Friends and Slp..Even I know I am contradicting myself.but I don even know why.Life is just like wasting time for me now...what is the meaning of the things I am doing now.something is just not right now...and what is it.am I just Looking problem in myself.I am not sure.when i went for the level 1 coaching.
Once JB said" we only look at our bad point.But we never look at our
Value"E value of a person is really hard to determine..
You will find it super hard to find value in you. You
Ought to see others value but not yours
Usually I can just hack care.But now I cant..Y??I hope you can see it..I really hope...but I am not sure about it..
well what to do..this is life...will u come to my blog is still a unknown question...haix...
the pain of the wisdom tooth growing is still making me living in hell...it still super pain...argh..i still need to endure how much longer...so many thing happen on me...what should I do...so stress and pain...on friday there are UT again..one week of 3 UT will really kill a person...how many brain cell have die already...due to stress and pain...
all that make me a emo person this days...don feel like talking , don feel like playing..don feel like laughing..only one person can make me feel happy, and make me feel like talking...haha..
what do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who make you cry...indeed is hard..today training to me was really bad...cadets why i feel that you all are not putting in efforts...sec 3 pls..wake up...you all can do it..but why you all are not doing it ...where is your teamwork...what is your spirit...it is all gone...what happen...no matter what we do..u all just don put in effort...why...haix..
and my sec 2 don you all change into like that...you all must stay like how u all are now...don ever change...you all are my hope...don let me down..ok?
Sec 1 out of all today you all did a great job...keep it up...it June already..i believe you all can stay like how you all are even by the end of the year..
Rmb guys, we are the GOH this year..it maybe your first and last chance in evg..don waste it..understand...
today after training went back home...and slp..until 7.45 like that than I wake up..get enough slp now...than went to iron my smart 4 again...cos tml also gt training....i hope tml i will get a better result from all of you..haix...feeling so down now...**
..What is LIFE..
and I miss you already
8:21 PM
5/26/08
**a few days never blog le..cos very busy doing thing...but this few days happen quite alot of thing...this thing some are very sad some is very happy...sometime you really don know you should be happy or sad...because thing just happen too fast...every single sec, thing are changing..and so nowadays it hard to get a person mood..becoos it is just changing too fast...
well let said about the sad thing on sat, went to cpr course to help out and also go for he interview for the SNCO course CLT...there are 6 clt go for the interview in total...than we are told to plan out the training plan in 30min for the 5 day CPR course..than one by one, we went in for the interview...and , you know what..all clts screw up the interview lo...suddenly all don know what to said during interview..cos we don know what they are asking us...
hai..than in the end 2 selected onli,.nelison n foo...the rest all cannot go in...sad ar...than that day the cadets was not keen in learning...and we cant even finish the test for all the cadets by 7pm...
haix..what to do...than reach home around 9pm..hai..so late..
than on sunday go for my level 1 coaching course...hahaha..happy thing now..cos it is the last day of the course and after today i can go fro my level 1 coach attachment le...hahaha...finally pass course liao...ya ya ya....then reach home around 6 plus...than study for today UT..hai..today UT die liao ar....don understand what the 6P is talking abt...hope at least can get a C for this UT...at least ma...^_^**
..Life..
and I miss you already
2:06 PM
5/21/08
**i finally find myself studying got my UT after 1 year plus in RP..well year 2 is really very different from year 1..i still rmb when there are UT during my year 1..i don even give a damn and still can get a A for it..and everytime during UT i can press the stupid button "Finalize Answer" and submit it....but now...how ...i can't even finish my UT in 30min..what the hell...omg..y is year 2 so different and stress...no more game time in class..all of us is working working and working...haiz...but u know what today UT i am able to finish be4 30min with confident of passing...hahahaha...somemore it is my worse topic....hahahah..my worse topic becos everytime need to skip 3rd meeting due to ncdcc..but what to do..i like ncdcc so much...no choice ma...but ya u know what..for today ut, i study one whole full day lo...from the time i wake up till night 12am...super...so long in my life..i first time so hard working lo...O level also don have like that....this time i realli siao one...suddenly gt the power to sit down and study for so long...hahah...well it good..at least now, i understand what i don understand le....today chat with angel , well something about childhood...well realli when we look back at our childhood...you can find so many mistakes that you have done...and childhood actually is not so happy...well yes, you can said most of it is a happy time...but that does not apply to everyone...when i talk about my childhood..i suddenly found out that i am so different compare to my childhood...I had change and become a better person..well which is a good thing..and i also met and have 4 best friends in life...this is great...but i recall one thing that sadden me most...there was once, when i realli need a friend to talk to, and when i pick up my handphone and scoll down the list..there was NO one i can call too..the feeling of it suck...and i never never wan to feel that again..you feel like you are realli alone in this world...no one care abt u...no one will bother if u die or live...u r so not important...but now i no need scare le...cos i gt 4 best friends ma...hahaha...actually there are alot og thing on my mind.but i just don know how to write it down here..maybe it is time to arrange my thought again..to make them neat and tidy..hahaha..**..Make as many mistakes you wan, Just DON repeat it..
and I miss you already
3:30 AM
5/17/08
**i suddenly feel so helpless in this world..i lost all sense of direction...i don know where to go...what i can do..beside waiting...i realli don know what is going on...the feeling of being lost in a jungle , the fear in my heart is adding day by day...I reali hope everything get well as soon as possible.This time, i am reali scare...this is the first time i am so scare in life...i don know why...is the fear that is always in my heart running here and there..haix..
well let talk about others thing ba..well on friday get to know the new i am not selected to be the contingent commander for this year ndp..well yes...indeed i was very sad..well is kinda of disappointed ba...haha..realli hope to be the commander..but never mind , now i go for the ndp drill instructor..cos still in ndp ma...so still the same just that roles change ba..hahhaa...
well than went to ncdcc unit training...well was in charge in giving first aid test..well 20 pass and 3 fail..not so bad...still can improve..
than went to cpr course today again..the cadets was pretty ok..learn quite fast for most of them..just some that have a hack care mindset..fail and don wan to try anymore..i hate cadets with this kind of mindset..u all must change..if nt in life, if u fall u will never be able to stand up again...haix...
don feel like writing anymore now...see next post ba..**
and I miss you already
11:45 PM
5/13/08
**yesterday did not went to sch, cos very tired.hahaha..slp until 3 plus than wake up..than better still...work cancel...so just slack at home the whole watch and watch show....but at night gt go for running...well it good...run circle green for 2 round..hahaha..than reach home le continue with my weight training..well need to train train and train..encik wan put me and vic become PTI...omg..i this kind of shit fitness..kena this duty...will die...that y must train train and train...but it good also la..train be4 ns..hahaha...than today leh..go sch lo...stupid problem la...even the faci dont know what the 6p talking abt..how...what to do.. in rp..this is life..must face it lo...no choice...haiz....finally gt abit feel that going to rp is a wrong choice...learning is so not real in rp...but if i don go rp, it do not give me the chance to have so much time in ncdcc...what should i do...or perhaps what i can do?it too late to change sch now...it too late to said i am regret...i just have to go on and continue in rp...if i get the chance to go into uni, than we will see how ba...there is always a way..hahaha...
well after sch,go talk together with clsmate lo..hahaha..finally after today talk ..i clear my ce point..but still must rmb to write rj first...if not i will still need to go for one more talk...hahaha..cannot waste this chance ar...hahaha...
sometime what i am aiming for in life really...i realli don know...what happen to all my goal in life...where is my stand in life..am i a good person...i am realli quite lost now...everyday what am i doing...is it realli for the future or i am just doing what is need for today...is this life...where and what is the meaning...why cant i find it...what i am thinking everyday...am i just wasting my time...somehow i don know...
but anyway i think what i can do now is to just carry on my life as per normal...that for me may be a only way ba..hahaha...anyway tml i am going to evg to teach sec 1 first aid..well so long never see my cadet le..don know how they grow..hahaha...**
..Life should be carry on with COURAGE..
and I miss you already
8:19 PM
5/11/08
**so long never touch my blog le...today i give my blog a brand new look..meaning giving my blog a brand new life...i hope that my blog will not have to die again...i hope i have the commitment to post like in the past..hahaha...well this few week alot of thing passing through my mind...life are so different now...is my life dull and meaningless or is my life full of fun and meaning...this question had always flashing in my mind..what i am doing now? what is the meaning to be here? am i wasting my time?
i am doing thing for my interest, or i am doing thing just for the sake of doing..maybe the line was not clearly draw, that maybe why i cannot answer the question in my heart..but never mind, life still go on and sooner or later i will find the answer..So now there are only one thing i need to do..do every possible thing i can do and make sure i am happy about it.
so what did i do for this passed week, hmm..quite alot of thing..so slowly said ar...
first, went through afew UT le..and my reaction is OMG..cos out of the 3 UT i take..i cannot totally finish 2 of the UT...all need to calculate...how am i suppose to finish in 30min...omg...haiz..need to practice like siao liao lo..if not coming ut will die until don know how liao...hahahha
second, hmm , went to NDP training at HTA last friday....well cadets coming from different unit all over singapore..and I am the only clt there..hahaha...well at first alot of them had no spirt in doing drill...but after some talk with them..letting them to feel proud abt being in the contingent..all the cadet's spirt start to burn..like flashover la..sudden fire...haha...although their drill is not there yet...as it was just the first training..but I believe and trust them..they will grow and improve over the time..and by NDP they will put a good show..alot ppl will said..we r the support contingent..and the worse, the supporting the support contingent..at the back..no one will see..what for?...but what i think is no matter where you are, what duty you perform..u are part of the NDP bring the joy to the whole singapore...Who care if your face cannot be see...you still have your friends and family know that you are there..The point is YOU ARE THERE..and that is enough...
lastly, today went for level 1 coaching coach again...hmm morning was lot of theory and well, yes it is abit down but the fact was interesting..becos it is not just reading from slide..it is life exp...hence it is not as down as nothing theory cls i attend before..hahha
than we kayak to beachroad to have our lunch there...than after that had practice on how to teach on water..
it is different from teaching on land..for the very example ..on the water, u and your trainee will be drifted away.this make it harder to control your trainee and and the way u conduct lesson may need to be abit different from what u normally do..that what i feel..ahaha...
well that all le..think nothing to write le..hahaha..**
and I miss you already
11:30 PM
