10/30/09
**Well after 1 week plus never update, it time to update... hmmm i think my ankle had recover about 70% or so.. But my feet don know why keep on getting blueblack from walking too much.. i mean my ankle of course.. and still can bent to the side.. So i think more time needed to recover fully.. But is ok, i am starting my fitness training again... going running later at night... hahah.. cos now is 12.37am of 30th Oct le... and of cos.. HAPPY BDAY to myself... hahaha.. anyway that not important.. everyday is the same.. as long as i can spend my time with the people i love. I can enjoy everyday..
hmm, people tend to change as time goes by.. why do people need to change..cant everyone just be themself, like how we are when we are an innocent child.. wont that be happier.. why do we need to change ourself to entertain others. putting on a mask to hide our true feeling.. that is not our real-self..and everyone actually feel tired in putting on that mask, but why do we still put it on...
when we grow, we tend to think alot be4 making a decision.. is this good or bad..?? if the things that we want to do can make us happy, why don we just do it without thinking? is it becos we are sad that the doing may tear off the fake mask that we are wearing all the time? i don know... but what i know is, for me to a certain extend i am selfish.. I don deny the fact.. but i am also willing to give for my loves one, my friends and family..
After 19 years , do i really know who am i? or this who am i is someone that i created myself.. if so, where is my real-self.?but if this is my real-self, then what had i done in this 19 years? did i achieve anything? most likely, i had spend 1/4 of my life on earth..so wat did i bring to the people around me, my family, my friends, my love one, and the place i live in.. happiness?Sadness? or if i plus and minus everything, the value is 0.. if i am given a black piece of paper, and ask to write down what contribution did i contributed.I think high chance it may submit a blank piece of paper back... from the past till now, i keep telling myself to change and be a better person.. but did i do it? i don know... maybe i did, or at least i try..actually i scare to do alot of things... sometime i am really tired.. sometime i am really scared.. am i as strong as i project?.. hmm i don know.. haha.. to be or not to be.. that the question.. lol.. well don wry, i am not emo.. just trying to write down wat was on my mind.. hahah..
anyway back to my school life.. hmm, feeling that going sch is such a strange thing.. my feeling for sch actually change for this sem.. maybe is becos i study for 3 days per week.. so to me , everyweek when going to sch like just finish holiday.. so actaully i am not motivated to study.. haha.. but i am not a SLACKER... hahaha... UT is coming.. hence need to study and prepare for me.. don wanna to screw up my last sem.. And for FYP, is totally screw up.. haizz.. software part totally no improvement.. haizz.. i also don know wat value i had in the team..haizz.. think gotta stop here first.. since it so long post already.. haha..**
and I miss you already
12:35 AM
